Before the holidays are even here, I am already starting to hear my friends and family complain about the expense of the holidays. I just have to wonder why people do it if they don't really want to do it. I don't go to any great expense and we don't miss out on a fantastic holiday. I actually would argue that we enjoy it more because we are at home baking instead of being at a mall cursing about not being able to find parking and then being overwhelmed by the crowds.
Every day this week we have been partaking in many of the free family activities that are happening in my community. There are also many low-cost activities too. So the getting out and enjoying the spirit of the holidays can be done at little to no cost... just remember to bring some snacks.
Back when the recession hit, my side of the family had a nice, honest talk about holiday shopping. We all recognized that we shopped primarily out of obligation. We all were stressed about the fact that we spend money we don't have, on things that the recipient likely doesn't want. We knew this to be a reality, yet, we had done it every year! Instead, we decided to put an end to the waste and stick with just a fixed amount of gift cards for the adults. We still keep the spirit alive for the children. But keeping the spirit alive doesn't require excess.
As an example, last month my little one just had a birthday. She had 10 little friends come over, so she had 10 presents. The party was lovely and the kids all had an amazing time. The party in itself was the highlight of the night, but after all of that there were gifts... they were opened one by one and then the big after-party crash happened. We cleaned up as she slept. I then decided to experiment... I hid half the toys. They are still hidden and no one has noticed. It wasn't the presents that mattered, it was the friends all coming together.
It's amazing how dreaded Christmas shopping is. Not many people enjoy it. Does anyone? Even grocery shopping is a nightmare from now until after the big day. We may just eat out of our pantry and our freezer until it's really necessary. There are far more fun things to do this time of year than stand in extra long lines.
Last Christmas, I noticed that every toy in our household was broken, damaged, or had pieces missing within two days. What a waste. Family could have easily have wrapped up used items and my little one would have been just as happy. Less waste. Less money. It's the spirit that matters. Yes, there's excitement with gifts, but it often doesn't matter what the gift is and for the young ones - they don't even keep track of who the gift is from and who did or didn't buy a gift. They just don't - until we teach them to.
So why do we do it? Why do we feel so obligated? Can't we all just be honest and calm things down?
It's not as if we are fooling anyone. We all complain about bills and debt all year, so it's not as if friends and family think that all of a sudden it's okay to spend on them. I feel gut-wrenched when I receive a gift from someone that I know is having a hard time - and it's not because I'm ungrateful, it's just that I'd rather they be okay with their money. I know I'm going to hear them complain again for another year about debt.
I have what I need. I have friends who come over nearly every day and I have the love of a strong family. What I need isn't more stuff.
The holidays can be done with joy, excitement, entertainment and love without all the stuff. We have a low-cost holiday every year and we have a fantastic time with friends, family, pot luck, homemade baked goods and getting out there to enjoy all the wonderful things in the community.
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